


Baby Steps

by LitsyKalyptica



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: (so much blood), Blood, F/M, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-20 07:04:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14255559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LitsyKalyptica/pseuds/LitsyKalyptica
Summary: Step…Step…Just keep going. Almost home.





	1. Chapter 1

_ Step… _

_ Step… _

_ Just keep going. Almost home. _

_ Step… _

_ Step… _

_ Step… _

Bullet through the phone. Bullet through one side of him, through the soft flesh of his waist, and out the other. Torn in two. Insides shredded. Losing blood fast. Losing consciousness.

_ One foot, then the other. _

The streets, empty. No one around to help. No voice strong enough to cry out as he stumbled down the street. Down the middle of the road. Maybe a car would come through, and the driver could call an ambulance.

_ Step… Step… _

_ “Philip? Where are you going?” _

_ “Out.” _

_ “Out where?” _

_ “Just out.” _

_ Step… Step… _

The porch of the townhouse. Six stairs. Six steps.

_ Step… _

He gets to the door. His blood slick hand slips on the handle. The wound is painful in his wrist, where the bullet ended its long and destructive journey. He struggles. The handle falls, and the door opens. He stumbles inside.

The house is quiet. Everyone is asleep. Everyone is upstairs. He won’t make it up the stairs.

Philip collapses at the foot of the sofa. Out comes the only cry he could muster, blood quickly following out of his mouth, silencing him. Choking him.

“Philip?”

He didn’t want Angie to see him like this. There is blood everywhere; leaking out of his mouth, running down his sides, staining the rug his mother kept so clean.

His vision is blurred, but he can make out Angie’s terrified face in the darkness. His heart breaks with guilt.

**_“MOM!”_ **

A sudden light.


	2. Chapter 2

A wail, and then hands on his shoulders.

“Alex! Alex! Call 911!”

Philip looks up. Black lines his vision. He feels sick.

His mother is in front of him. Her eyes are frightened but her face is calm. His father is on the staircase. He is frozen.

“ALEXANDER!”

He calls. Philip’s head tips forward again. Blood leaks from his mouth. His heart is pounding in his chest, in his ears.

“Philip… Philip, darling, can you hear me?”

His mother is speaking.

_ Mama… _

“Yes, sweetheart, Mama’s here.”

_ Mama… _

“You’re going to be fine, honey. Help is coming.”

He notices the taste for the first time.  _ Tastes like metal. _

“Here, let’s lie down on the sofa…”

She lies him down. The nice clean sofa. Stained with blood. So much blood.

“Mama…”

“Shh…”

“Eliza. Help is coming.”

Help is coming.

“Alexander, the wounds…”

His father takes off his pajama shirt. Stretches it across Philip’s stomach, presses it to both ends of the bullet path. He can’t get his bloody wrist.

“Mama…”

Mama strokes his hair with one hand, presses the other fingers to his throat. Her fingers jump with each beat.

“Help is coming, darling.”

Help is coming.

_ Help is coming. _

“Philip, stay awake.”

_ Maybe not soon enough. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still experimenting with the prose. Don't forget to comment!


	3. Chapter 3

_ “What’s his name?” _

_ “Philip, his name is Philip.” _

_ “And how old is he?” _

_ “He’s nineteen.” _

The person is faceless. They put a mask over his mouth and nose. It feels like plastic. The air coming through is cold.

_ “Can you hear us, Philip?” _

His arm is squeezed tight. He can barely feel it.

“Mama?”

_ “I’m here, baby. I’m here.” _

_ “Can you hear us?” _

Mama’s here.

_ “Visible entry and exit wound. Bullet’s in his arm. Call in for emergency surgery.” _

“Everything hurts.”

Mama runs a warm hand over his cool face.

_ “BP’s dropping.” “Heartrate climbing.” “Oxygen low.” “Losing blood fast.” “Need to stop the bleeding.” “Need to stop the bleeding.” _

Tired.

“Mama.”

_ “Mama’s got you.” _

_ Need to stop the bleeding. _

He’s being moved. He’s floating.

Mama’s gone.

“MAMA!”

_ “Shh, shh… Mama’s here…” _

Mama’s here. Papa’s here too.

His chest is swelling. He can’t breathe.

_ “Might have to intubate.” _

They force it down his throat. A plastic hose. It hurts.

He cries. He throws up. Mama and Papa cry too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment!


	4. Chapter 4

_ Beep _

_ Beep _

_ Beep beep _

_ … _

_ Beep _

Smells like soap. A painful light.

“Mama…”

_ “Oh Philip, baby, you’re awake!” _

“Mama…”

_ “Baby, shh…” _

“How long?”

_ “Two days.” _

“Will I make it?”

_ “Of course you will.” _

He doesn’t believe it. He trusts her.

“Hurts, Mama.”

“I know. I’ll call a nurse.”

A nurse arrives. There’s a needle in his arm. He’s covered in tubes and wires. He feels like a cyborg hooked up to all these machines.

Too loud.

_ Beep beep beep _

_ Beep _

_ … _

_ Beep _

Mama strokes his head. Her hand is warm.

The pain doesn’t fade.

_ “Does that feel better, baby?” _

No.

“Yes.”

She kisses his head. Mama’s kisses.

_ “The worst of it is over, baby.” _

He doesn’t believes it. He trusts her.

_ Beep _

_ Beep beep _

_ Beep _


	5. Chapter 5

_ Beep beep _

_ Beep beep _

Smells like bleach. A bright light.

His skin is on fire. Everything is fire.

Papa’s there this time.

“Papa…”

_ “Philip. You’re awake.” _

“How long?”

_ “Six days. You’ve been out six days.” _

That was a long time.

_ “We’re all so worried.” _

“Am I gonna die?”

_ “No, no, you’re not.” _

“Too hot.”

_ “You’ve been running a fever.” _

“Am I dying?”

_ “No, Philip. The doctors are taking care of you.” _

He doesn’t believe it. But he trusts him.

His eyes close again, but he doesn’t sleep.

Papa is scared. Papa is praying.

_ “God, please don’t take him. I would give anything. Take me instead.” _

Papa never prayed before.

Papa strokes his arm. He thinks he’s out again.

_ “Philip, don’t go. I already lost your Dad. I couldn’t bear to lose you too.” _

Philip sleeps now.

_ Beep beep _

_ … _

_ Beep _


	6. Chapter 6

104.7°

Everything’s on fire.

Philip can’t open his eyes. The air felt hot and fuzzy. Voices, as if underwater.

Antibiotics slow to take effect.

The doctor gave them some hope.

“If his fever breaks, he’ll likely live.”

105°

He’s moved to another room in the ICU.

His eyes won’t open.

The machine is still beeping. Faster now. More steady. Only skips every once in a while.

Philip can hear everything. Philip can feel everything.

His eyes still won’t open.

Mama is on his right side. Papa’s on his left.

He can’t speak, he can’t move, and he can’t see them.

104.9°

“The doctor says he’s stable.”

“When will he wake up?”

No response. No one had an answer.

_ Mama… _

_ Papa… _

_ I’m awake… _

105.1°

_ It’s too warm… _

_ Help me…  _

They didn’t hear him.


	7. Chapter 7

106.7°

He went into convulsions. He slipped back into a coma.

**“PHILIP!”**

Deeper.

_ Deeper… _

_ “Dad?” _

_ His dad was there. He wanted to cry; had it been two years already? _

_ “Hey, buddy.” _

_ “Am I dead?” _

_ “Don’t worry, Pip. It’s not your time.” _

_ Philip feels himself fading. _

106.5°

_ “Say hi to your mom and pop for me, okay?” _

_ He hugged him. Philip was crying. _

106.7°

Mama and Papa cried, too. They knew it would be over soon. They called Aunt Angelica, asked her to bring Angie and AJ to say goodbye.

106.2°

Philip opens his eyes.

“Mama… Papa…”

His voice is so weak. It is drowned out by his Mama and Papa crying. They’re happy this time, and that makes Philip happy, too.

“Dad says hi.”

Papa cries harder.

106°

After two days, his fever breaks.

It will be a long road to recovery. But Philip is still alive.

And that’s enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


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